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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?